Being okay with not being okay?

Hello sister!

So the theme of this week at my house has sort of been about body issues?

Kinda...I am not going to go into a lot of detail because ya know, it's rude and well you honestly already know all the nitty gritty of it.

Here's the thing, I always like to tell myself I was never a big "physical insecurity" person, but honestly that's only half true. I am realizing I am/was always actually pretty insecure and it took being way to tired in the morning to even think about make up and living with Joe for me to realize how insecure I am about my naked face. I am however sorta over it because I don't wear makeup everyday though I do often think "omg eeewwww" when I see myself so baby steps...

The sucky thing about being of average height and on the lowish side of average weight and not being physically deformed in any serious way is having to constantly hear that your "flaws" aren't as flawed as other peoples?

I know probably either way when people are sunk in the "I hate everything about how I look and want to hide forever black hole" there is no real talking them out, or comforting them...but at lease you can commiserate...and I get shot down when I try that so I get frustrated and it becomes insanely aggravating to hear about these things.

(I know this sounds totally conceited in a way and like a total #prettypeopleproblem and like I am totally insensitive but...it is sorta and I am sorta)

The thing about insecurities and flaws, is they aren't comparable...there is no "I am fat and you have acne, I win" because it doesn't really matter what you are insecure about what matters is how you feel about those things, how they affect your life and if you can get past them, even if your skin is a little bad or you weigh more then you did at 22 can you find a way to be happy? Can you at least like 50% of the time try and see yourself with other peoples eyes and try to just not be so hard on yourself or at least push it to the back of your thoughts?

Any ways where I was going with all this is, at least where I thought I was going?

I am a big dumb hypocrite!

(oh calm yourself, we all are)

When I said in my goals I wanted to eat better and got to the gym and drink less and get up on time, none of that was about being "healthy" that's a nice side affect but...it was about being skinny and having time to put on my make up!

So there I said it!.
New goal, try and just be okay? I am pushing 30 (sorta) I am not going to effortlessly be skin and bones, and well my face is may face so...

Not totally sure what the point of this was now that I wrote it all, mostly I am annoyed about conversations that keep happening and sad for people I really love (and find quite attractive) that they cant see themselves the way I do. I hope it all works out, it's really hard to find a balance with being okay with not being okay or I guess in other words making the best of bad situations, weather the situation is your own body, your living situation, or the fact that you can't stand humans.

Welp I think that's all I can say about that, funny thing is I was planing to do a 5 minute makeup tutorial haha...would be the total opposite but I was going to have to put a no makeup pic of my face on the internet and thinking about that (and recent happenings) sparked this...

Good luck with the re-connections sis, I hate people but they are important!

Love ya!