Yin & Yan

I’ve been thinking about the two ways I look at my life, one part of me is constantly looking at how serious situations are.  I’ve come to learn this is my negative side.  This is the part of me that doesn’t want to get hurt, to take risks or to move forward.  After all, if you are comfortable where you are, why should you move? 

But then there is my second half that reminds me that I only get to live once so who the fuck cares what people think of me, what I wear, where I live?  This is also the side that pokes at my curiosity, my creative self, the part of me that wants to do something totally irrational because it could lead to a happier me.

I am finding it really hard to stay true to the half that makes me happy, that lets me live without fear.  THAT is the person I long to be.  If I sit here, sulking, complaining and lusting over what I don’t have then I will never feel happy, I will never feel complete.  I want to really work on reminding myself that every little thing doesn’t matter. 

Life is not as serious as my mind makes it out to be.

I don’t want Bear to grow up taking the safe way, being afraid and not living to his full potential so why should I?  I am vowing that if I don’t like something, I will change it.  If I cannot change it, I will move forward. 

I will not hold myself back.

-HP